If pain could be seen I might look like a burning cross. I can literally feel warm pain down my spine and coming out from my neck to my shoulders. Throbbing headache on top and a bright spot in my right sacroiliac might make me more like a lowercase j. The shape is irrelevant. My back is on fire. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to walk and it hurts to lay down.

Would knowing the name of this monster help? If there’s no treatment would the name help? Not in this moment. It’s just pain.

The pain gets worse. I grab my ankle, pull it toward my body, and pop my hip back into place. The roar quiets back to the burning, dull hum.

As surely as if someone drug a razor from the bottom of my head to the end of my tailbone, that burn is there without a mark to prove it.


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